How to Tell Others You Have AuDHD

💡 Tips for work, friends & dating

Hi neurodiverfriends! 

Let’s dive into something a little tricky: telling others about your AuDHD.
Should you? Shouldn’t you? 

Honestly, unmasking can be such a relief—it feels amazing to just be yourself. But let’s be real: it’s not always easy.

So, how do you share this part of yourself without worrying about being misunderstood or treated differently? Here’s what’s worked for me (and what might work for you too):

💼 WORK 💼

1. Tailor to your role

Share how AuDHD shows up at work and, more importantly, how you’ve found ways to make it work for you. Show off those problem-solving skills!

2. Keep it professional

Frame the conversation around teamwork and support. This isn’t about special treatment; it’s about finding the best ways to collaborate and thrive.

3. Provide specific examples

Be clear about what helps you succeed, like: “I crush it with clear deadlines” or “I focus best in a quiet space.” Simple, straightforward, and super helpful.

4. Frame it around solutions

Present AuDHD in a way that emphasizes your proactive approach. For example: “I’ve discovered that blocking focus time in my calendar really helps me manage complex tasks.”

5. Reassure them

Let your employer know this isn’t about asking for special treatment. You’re sharing to be transparent and work collaboratively on solutions, not to offload challenges onto them.

👯‍♂️ FRIENDS 👯‍♂️

1. Choose a comfortable setting

Share in a relaxed environment, like during a walk—bonus points if you prefer not making eye contact (win-win!).

2. Use analogies

Frame your experience in relatable terms. Personally, I compare my brain to a Ferrari with bicycle brakes. Fast, powerful, but sometimes hard to control.

3. Be honest about why you’re sharing

Let them know you’re sharing to help them understand you better, not to seek pity (ew) or make excuses.

4. Focus on the positives too

Besides challenges, highlight the strengths that come with AuDHD—like hyperfocus, creativity, or (in my case) a great sense of humor.

5. Offer resources

If they’re curious, share links, books, or videos that explain AuDHD in more depth.

❤️ DATING ❤️

1. Be vulnerable and open early on

Share what having AuDHD means to you—the challenges you face and the things you genuinely love about yourself. Show how being open is part of building trust in the relationship.

2. Discuss relationship dynamics

Talk about how AuDHD might impact communication, emotions, or sensory needs in your relationship.

3. Reassure them

If they seem unsure, remind them this is just a part of you—not the whole picture—and that you’re learning too.

4. Invite their input

Ask if they have any questions or if there’s anything they’d like to know about your experience.

Remember, the more people share about their neurospiciness, the closer we get to widespread acceptance of neurodiversity.

Liked this newsletter? Feel free to pledge a small fee to support this Substack—it helps keep this space alive and thriving. Massive thanks to everyone who’s already contributed!

Neurodivergently yours 🧠✌️

Magali